At the beginning of the semester, I was consumed with a fear of the unknown. Utterly terrified, I thought the only way to overcome my fear was by controlling the unknown. When that didn’t work, I tried to control physical aspects of myself instead. My weight. My image. My environment. After years of fighting (and losing) this battle of control, you’d think I would’ve learned my lesson. It only took a few weeks (a few days if I’m really being honest) before everything collapsed in on me.
Embarrassed, I tried to hide my feelings from the people around me, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hide them any more. Eventually, my sister and a few of my close friends convinced me that going to therapy wasn’t something to be ashamed of, especially if it was something I really needed. I was only able to attend a few in-person therapy sessions before my classes moved to “online only” and I was forced to leave campus. Thankfully, my home is one of my safe-spaces. Although I’m able to continue therapy in online sessions at home, my frustrations over the current situation opened the door for my desire for control to slowly creep back into my life. Suddenly, all of the healing I had been experiencing gave way to a dark cloud of chaos that dominated my mind for the weeks to come.
It wasn’t until a few nights ago when my parents and I went outside to look at the stars that I finally began to feel a true sense of calm. As I was standing in the cold April air, all I could think about was: There are numerous stars in the sky, and God knows every single one by name.
Psalm 147:3-5 reminds us that even with all of the heartbreak, hatred, and pain we are experiencing in the world right now, He is working to bind our wounds. We are like the stars in the night sky that He loves and calls by name. He is always on our side, even when we cannot see Him in this moment. His power and understanding know no limits.
Do you find yourself experiencing a sense of calm amidst all of the chaos? Are you facing fears about the unknown and uncertainty? Or are you somewhere in the middle?
It’s okay to be unsure of or even change your answer. I know I’m feeling a sense of calm right now, but I can guarantee that the fears and desires for control I’ve experienced will come back at least a few more times throughout this pandemic. Probably even more in the future, and that’s okay. Because every time I fall, God will be there to catch me. He will lead me back to where I need to be. And He will do the same for you. Even in the pouring rain, even in the darkest nights, He will call you by name. Because to Him, you are as precious as the stars.
Proud aunt of Bailey (a puppy) and Luna (a cat), Introverted artist, Restless wanderer
- BASIC Book Club // This May, BASIC is hosting a 4-5 week book club led by the wonderful Brook Hillebrand. We’ll be starting off with the book, "Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers" by Anne Lamott. Click the graphic below to sign up and find the link to the book! Anyone can join! #AloneTogether #AllAreWelcome
- Life Groups // Looking to get more involved with a faith community? Joining a Life Group is a wonderful way to meet new people and share God’s love! Click the graphic below to sign up for a virtual Life Group! #LifeGroupLove #Community
- Podcast // Miss a BASIC teaching or want to hear it again? You can now find all of our teachings on all of your favorite podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, and more! Click the graphic below to learn more! #Listen #BLESS
- Sunday Morning Worship // During this time, we ask that you help us practice social distancing by joining us for online services at Orchard Hill Church and Nazareth Lutheran Church. Orchard Hill Church will be live streaming services at 9:15am and 10:45am, and Nazareth Lutheran Church will be streaming services at 9:00am on Sundays. Click the graphic below for more information! #SundayWorship
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